Welcome back to my journey into the work of CKO Kickboxing and kicking anxiety and depression one roundhouse at a time. Today we look at how my fourth day went. It came sooner than anticipated, thanks to me being worried about how bad my third day went and my anxiety over what the instructor must have thought of my performance (or more accurately, lack thereof).
After my third class, I had anxiety about how many breaks I had to take and I was worried my instructor thought I was weak or worse… that maybe I wasn’t cut out for this.
I decided to hit the gym again the next day and go to class a little early to apologize to my instructor for the day before.
Who Am I Competing With?
As Audrey was cooling off from teaching her 5:30 class, I approached her about my lack of performance the day before and apologized. I was embarrassed that I had slacked off so bad. ::future Dakster here… Time travel to my last post and you will see that I’m actually being rather harsh on myself here. I was very sick during the third class.::
Turns out, I had nothing to apologize for. She told me that CKO is my gym and reminded me that class time is my time. If I need to take a break during class, I take the break. If I feel I need to sit out a rep or two and drink some water, then I sit out. I’m there to compete with myself, not the others around me.
Push But Don’t Kill Yourself
So during class that day with Nick, I pushed myself, but when I felt a headache coming on or I felt like I was going to throw up, I took a step back to the wall, I sat down, and I took a breather. I allowed myself to cool off and cool down. I reminded myself I was only on my fourth class and my body was still getting used to this new habit I had picked up.
At one point, I got up from a breather break and stared at my bag not sure if I had the energy to punch, and over the mic I heard, “YOU CAN DO IT, DAKS!” and it was just what I needed to remind myself that I could do it and I attacked that bag with what I had left in me.
Sometimes it’s the little things that you need to push you to move forward. And at CKO they have the right instructors that help you do just that.
And it’s not just the instructors that encourage. The other gym-goers also encourage each other. I’ve lost count how many times the people beside and in front of my bag have yelled at me or each other to keep punching, “YOU CAN DO IT!” “KEEP GOING!” or “YOU GOT THIS!” when they see another start to fade. We give fist bumps at the end of a hard round and at the end of class to show our support. In four classes I’ve yet to meet a negative energy pass through the doors.
I’m losing weight and I’m making friends.
How Did I Feel at the End?
At the end of class, I felt another accomplished hour had passed, and, while I’m not seeing any changes in my physical appearance just yet (Hey, I’m only on my fourth class, people!), I’m feeling the changes inside of me and I’m seeing them as I read these posts back to myself. The crunches are getting easier. The punches are getting quicker. I’m interested to see how I continue to grow mentally, emotionally, as well as physically.
Until next time. Keeping kicking.
Disclaimer: Dakster was given a set of passes to use to write up her posts. Full disclosure, she recently joined as a result of her experience.