Technology
How To Teleport From Your Android Phone

I mentioned the Teleport Transporter-Beta app in yesterday’s April Fool’s roundup, and I couldn’t resist downloading it and giving it a shot. For all you iOS users (or party poopers who won’t bother to download it), here’s what you missed.

The app’s description tells us:

The Teleport Transporter, as seen on Star Trek™, finally, beaming available on mobile!
Based on lost original blue prints from the Series. After 4 years of extensive research and development, finally, free and instant transportation in the palm of your hands. Android only (due to Apple limitations on iOS 6).

How handy would that be? How can you not want to try it? Just… in… case.

At first use, it warns you–this is still in beta. Things might go wrong. But hey. All that you’re doing is letting your phone dematerialize you. No big. I do wonder what’s going to happen to the phone. I hope it comes with me so that I can get back.

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Screencaps by Ruth Suehle

Now it’s time to go! OK. Middle of the room. Got it. Stand still. I can handle that.

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On the next screen, all you have to do is choose where you’d like to go from a predetermined list of destinations and click “Teleport.” Easy peasy science squeezy!

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Waiting…

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I totally took a shower this morning. Look, people, I’m a busy mom. So I might have missed the ears. But it’s spring break, and the kids are home, and… fine. I’m going to take another shower and try again.

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Beta. It’s in beta. Must keep reminding myself.

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Aw, thanks! I love me some Shat, too.

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Woot!

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Yes, yes, I did! I told you, busy mom, but seriously. This thing is a mess. I’m going to try One. More Time.

And eventually, you’re taken to your destination… in Google Street View. But at least you didn’t end up with transporter psychosis or crossing with an evil alternate universe. Enjoy!

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By day, Ruth Suehle helps upstream open source software communities and tells people how to build fun things with a Raspberry Pi. By night, she fights crimes against craftiness. No, that's not true. She just makes things, which means her husband and kids know to watch out for stray pins and to ask before eating anything made of fondant. (Follow her on Twitter at @suehle.)

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