Making It Through January as a Chronic Overthinker

As we near the middle of the first month of the year, this is the time when my “Happy New Year” vibes turn into “Happy New Fear” as I start to get panicky about what I need to do and achieve in 2024.

Of course, I have goals, have written about getting over the post-holiday blahs, and do really want to be a happy person for the most part. However, even with just a couple of weeks passing on the January calendar, I start to let those “running out of time” thoughts begin to seep into my psyche before I even have a chance to change the first month of the calendar over.

When January 1 hit I was planning on finally setting an orthodontist appointment for my youngest, replacing our Little Free Library that blew over in a storm a few months ago, getting back to my workout routine, creating a new product for my Etsy shop, and (of all things) starting a second Instagram page devoted to my “Bias on a Budget” creations for us financially strapped music lovers.

Then reality kicked in. I had to get everything ready for my family to get back to school (that set me back four days), and I had completely forgotten about a follow-up surgery I needed on my mouth. Now I’m in recovery mode for two more weeks until I heal, and I’m going absolutely batty.

Nothing I needed to do has gotten done, and my mind is beginning to spiral in some very weird directions. If I set my daughter’s appointment, will we have the money for what is needed? If I start my new Instagram, what if my DIY ideas dry up or no one reads them in the first place? Where and how do I get my library built and in order again with no materials? This goes on and on until the darker thoughts seep in. I turn 55 this month. My mother died at 70. I only have 15 years to live if I go by that unrealistic logic… and what do I have to show for it?

I know this is all incredibly shallow and unnecessary, but I blame it on my lifelong plight of being a chronic overthinker. I am my own worst nightmare. I spend so much time worrying about every little detail of things that really don’t need to be mused over too much that I neglect to actually do the things I worry about.

Does anyone else out there “think too much,” as many of my friends and family have told me for years?

Here is what I do to control it:

1. I try to remember the date January 1 holds no significance in the big picture. Who cares if the year number has changed? It is just another day and not the official starting point of a board game. If you want to start doing something, do it today or when it best suits you. Every day is as good as the next in terms of being “the first day of the rest of your life.”

2. I try to focus on only one task at a time. If I want to read, I have to make sure I don’t feel guilty for not writing. If I need to write, I don’t need to worry about checking my shop inventory… and if I just want to chill and watch a movie, I don’t need to think I should have read the book instead—one thing at a time. I am terrible about doing this, by the way, but I do try.

3. I have to remember that it doesn’t matter what strangers think about my interests. Social media has made it seem the more people like us (mostly people we will never meet), the better or more significant we are. If you have fun sharing your fandoms and seeing what others like about you, that is fine. But these likes aren’t essential in any way at all. If you aren’t using social media just for fun (and the occasional shop advertising), maybe just delete everything. You don’t need to be stressed about that, too.

4. If you worry about time, remember you will NEVER have time for everything. That is a given. Don’t ever feel like a failure if you can’t fit every teeny goal into your life. Concentrate on the most important first. Finish it, if you can, and take it from there. Yes, I know it isn’t always possible to keep every task in a nice order, but doing a little at a time helps.

When you’re an overthinker, the struggles and goals of life can sometimes look like a big cruise ship buffet filled with things you want to try or like a warehouse filled with trash you need to toss or get in order.

It can be overwhelming. I know. Take things one day at a time, one task at a time, one goal at a time, and one step at a time.

And don’t think about it too much. Just do it.