Happy Whose Day?

For Father’s Day I’d like to give thanks and wish a happy day to my mom, and to all the other moms who were also dads. My mom raised five kids as a single parent after divorce, went to the sports games and concerts, went to all the school conferences, fixed all the broken things, kissed all the scraped knees, paddled the bottoms, tucked us into bed, took care of all our needs, was proud of us, all while working one or two jobs. Mom escorted me down the aisle at my wedding.

Lots of families had a mom and a dad sharing responsibilities, splitting things up, doing their gender roles. Some families had a mom during the week and a remote dad on the weekends or during the summer in a custody-sharing arrangement, but in our family it was pretty much Mom all the time. She had to use her time and her temper and energy wisely; there was no one to relieve her, no one to consult, no one to share. And so on Father’s Day, I say thanks to Mom because she was the one who handled all the responsibilities that dads were taking care of.

When I was a kid, family structure was a little less fluid than today, and probably in another generation it will be even more fluid. Maybe we will start having Parent’s Day instead of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and that might be the appropriate thing to aim for. But since that day has not yet arrived, remember to send love and honor to whoever who acted as a dad, even if it wasn’t your father.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.